The “incident”

On Thursday I went to the barbers. Here in the UK men go to a traditional “man place” to get their hair cut unless they want one of those weird¬†spiky¬†hair-cuts that teenagers and generally cool people want. Unfortunately I wasn’t really paying attention, and I didn’t quite get the haircut I wanted.

I’ve done this before. I go to the barbers, I’m thinking about work, or what lunch I’m going to have, or what time I’m getting home, when – in the middle of all this – the barber asks what haircut I’d like. Normally I get a grade 2 on the “back and sides” with a grade 3 on top. However, with all this stuff going round my head I sometimes get it the wrong way round. Last month I said..

“Yeah, gimme a grade 2 on the top and a grade 3 on the back and sides”

The barber instantly corrected me, “Do you mean the other way round mate?”

Yes, yes of course I did. My fault.

However, this time I went in and decided I needed to go a bit shorter. It’s fair to say that I’m losing hair on top, so I decided to go for a grade 2 on top and a grade 1 on the sides. This time I walked in and there was a new guy standing there. He was your typical teenager and this was probably his first job. I sat down and told him that heck, I wanted to go a bit shorter. But, yet again, I got it all wrong..

“Yeah, I’ll have a grade 1 on top and a grade 2 on the sides”

“No probs mate, so, how have you been”

He then started going crazy with the clippers and never corrected my obvious mistake. I wasn’t paying much attention, and neither was he by all accounts. He started chatting about his girlfriend, football and how much he’d drunk last night. My neckline was all over the shop and I quickly paid up and walked out after he’d finished. However, it wasn’t until I’d got back in the car that I realised something was wrong. As I looked in the mirror I realised that I’d got the desired cut completely wrong.

I looked like Keith Flint from the Prodigy…

Yup. I was straight out of the Firestarter video. Sure, I might end up losing all my hair but I didn’t want to look this way just yet.

I told my wife. She laughed. I told my colleagues. They laughed. I told my family. They all laughed. Still, I had to smile.

I couldn’t go back there and let that nutter attack me again, so in the end I’ve ended up getting some clippers myself.

I’m now sporting a grade 1 all over, just to even it out.