Hey! Supermarkets! I’ve got the answer

You’re all driving me round the bend. I go to Tesco, I’ve got a Clubcard. I go to Morrisons, I keep getting vouchers spitting out from the self-serve till. In Asda I get more vouchers if there’s a difference in price elsewhere.

I don’t want ruddy vouchers. I don’t want points. I don’t want little leaflets with some demented “weekly save” scheme where you need to spend over £35 every week and keep some poxy little vouchers so you can get £10 back on the fourth week.

It’s driving me all mad. Just do what Aldi does. Make it as cheap as you can. No vouchers, no silly cards, points and other crap, just cheap prices on everything. Not cranking down the price on apples and then notching up the price on something else. Just make it all as cheap as you can, end of.