I’ll try and steer away from the rant I was going to post here. I was going to mention my trip to Morrisons to get a sandwich this lunch time. I was going to mention how I struggled to get through the queue of nutters waiting to put a fivers’ worth of fuel in. I was going to tell you about the two people who were arguing at the pumps because – from what I can make out by the ladys’ total on the pump – she’d only put 6 into the car. I was going to suggest that maybe fuel stations restrict each purchase to a minimum of ten quid. Surely that’d help reduce the queues ? Last night I was 15 minutes late getting home because of the queues spilling out onto local roads, so you can’t get past unless you do some crazy footpath driving.
I won’t mention all that though, because then it’d spiral into a whole different rant about how I’m now spending about 250 a month on fuel which means 162 a month for the government. Then I’d end up ranting on about the fact that I’m already giving the tax man a huge blob of cash in tax from my salary per month…etc etc .. In the end I’d probably conclude that moving to Barbados or St Kitts is probably a damned good idea.
But no.. I won’t do that rant, I’ll talk about something else I saw this morning. It was a lot funnier than the picture I took of the petrol queue (above right) last night. It was this morning, when I was driving back up to work. I was going through my local village, thinking about what I could do when I have some time off (I’m thinking about telling my boss that I can’t get any Petrol and need to wait until the next delivery on Saturday) :).. when I saw an old lady walking her dog. Nothing strange there you might think, and you’d be right. See, people in our village are a conscientious lot. The dog walkers always tend to carry plastic bags around to “clean up” after their pooches. Fines are pretty hefty and no-one really likes treading in dog poo, so they usually scoop up the hot, stinking mound of dog plop into an Asda carrier bag or similar, then take it home.
This lady didn’t have a carrier bag though. Not even a “sandwich bag” … I’ve seen those too.. some are see-through. Surely that’s not right? Who wants to see that ? Anyway, after I stopped at some traffic lights I saw the old lady reach into her pocket and grab a nappy (diaper for our American readers). It was there for all to see, with little bears printed on. From what I can make out, she had a small pack of Pampers in her pocket.
To be honest I wasn’t sure whether I should be a tiny-bit disgusted or smile at her ingenuity. See, although the nappy was designed to “hold” poo, it’s probably better suited to a babys bottom. I doubt the inventor of the nappy envisaged it being scraped across a damp pavement to grasp some doggy doo-doos. Either way, she folded it up into a nice ball and squished it back into her pocket and went on her way.
Although it was a tad strange, I’m quite glad she did it that way and that the dog wasn’t wearing it.