Late for work again!

Friday once more and yet again I’m late for work. The main reason this morning is that everyone was doing a painfully slow 60mph on the M6. Why? Why? Well, because of these guys here. This vehicle is actually a Highways Agency Land Rover, however 95% of drivers think they’re Police vehicles. The main reason for them is that the real Police simply couldn’t be arsed to go up and down the motorway any more and deal with minor shunts and break downs – it saps up too much of their time, so the powers that be decided, “Hey, let the Highways Agency do it, they’ve got stacks of cash”.

You can see a photo story about these guys and the job they do here at In the article it says..

“The Highway’s Agency says it is not taking on crime fighting aspects of police work. But just like any other citizen, they can report dangerous driving. And it’s no accident that this sign looks authoritative. Once we’re travelling, I notice that no one is overtaking us. Dominic says this is what the police call “compliance” – and because we’re in what seems to be a police car, drivers are afraid to pass and break the speed limit.”

..which is exactly what happened to me this morning, which is why I was late. Every chuffin nutter was pulling over or creeping past the Highways Agency thing at 65… ugh.. Luckily for me a rather clever BMW driver (it’s not often I say that) who was in front of me, recognised the Highways Agency vehicle for what it really was (a fairly powerless bunch of cone-putter-outers) and floored it past him, so I managed to get to work only 5 minutes late.

Not that speeding is big or clever, it’s just that every motorway in this good land has a speed limit of 70mph and I know of nobody – not one person in the UK – who ever sticks to 70mph on those motorways….ever. Anybody who says, “I never go over 70 on the motorway” is talking arse, and we all know it.

Apart from me of course, I’m good me.

The only reason I’ve got three points on my licence is because of some cooking bum-hole in a Ford Escort white van years ago. Actually, this was several years ago now.. I could probably apply to have these points removed now. Anyway, he was crawling along a local street at about 15mph. I decided to overtake, then as I came alongside I noticed that the van had been lowered and fitted with king-bling wheels. There was also a Chav wearing a cap driving it. He decided to floor it. I had to keep trying to get around him as there was a long stream of vehicles behind me and a car approaching on the opposite side of the road. With me driving a knackered Citroen Diesel at the time – I only just managed to get around him before a car on the opposite side of the road approached. He then braked sharply. I couldn’t figure out why at the time, but then I spotted the newly-erected speed camera. Flash flash.. busted.

When I got the letter through the post, with “Staffordshire Police” all over it, I damn near shat myself. Inside it stated that I’d been doing 57mph… in a 30mph zone. I’m not proud of it – how the hell I managed to get off with a fixed penalty of 60 and three points on my licence I’ll never know, however .. I did. No court appearance for me, but since then I’ve never done anything like that on local roads every again. If it says 30, I do 30.

Link – Photo Story