Christmas Carol Singers?

We had some Carol Singers around last night. Well, I say “Carol Singers”. They weren’t actually singing any Christmas Carols. We heard a banging at the door and a dreadful rendition of “Feed The World” by Band Aid..

“Feeeeddd thaaaa weeeerlllldd! Let them knawww it’s Chrissssmus toime!”

..and that was it. They just repeated it about 6 times. Bird went to open the door and was confronted by a bunch of “hoodies” – what we in the UK affectionately call teenage kids who wear hooded tops and walk around with arched backs like they’re 85 years old. These hoodies were stood there staring at the floor with all the Christmas spirit of a flip-flop.

Emily came back into the lounge, “It’s some kids, they’re singing something”, she says. “They probably want cash love. That’s all the kids want, just cold hard cash – or top-up vouchers for their mobiles”, I reply. “They’re not having anything for that crap! I’ll sort them”, she huffed.

I watched her walk off into the kitchen and get a bag of sweets we have in a drawer. She went back to the door and handed one tiny strawberry bon-bon to each of them, before slamming the door.

“Were they happy with that?”, I asked.

“No, but that’s all they deserve for that shower of s**t”, she replied.

Top bird, my missus is.