Everything on TV is rubbish at the moment

What the flying cock is going on with TV at the moment? There’s constant arse on every night and it’s getting on my nerves. Last night was “Marco’s Great British Feast” where a guy, who is a chef, is challenged to make some food for people. Wait though, ‘cus there’s a twist… he has to find the greatest British grub and serve it to 220 people. Wait .. it gets better – if they don’t like it then… DUH DUH DUH… it’ll be.. errr.. really bad.

Meanwhile, over on BBC1 there’s some cockin’ bilge called “Celebrity Master Chef” where some washed-up nobodies try and… COOK! Wait, there’s a twist…. if they fail then…. it’ll be.. errr.. really bad.. and they get booted off the show.. DUH DUH DUUUHHH!! Oh the pain!

Over on Channel 4 is Big Brother, and there’s now less people watching than there is in the actual house. DULL RUBBISH…

So, I put a DVD. I thought it’d be great. It’s called “Be Kind Rewind”. Now, I should’ve seen the warning signs when it came out on DVD just 4 months after it appeared in the cinema really but no – I bought the DVD and gave it a whirl. The plot, put simply, is that Jack Black is … err.. a friend of this guy who runs a video shop. The video shop only sells videos – VHS tapes – no DVD’s anywhere. Anyhoo, one day Jack Black gets zapped in a botched attempt to destroy a local power plant (don’t ask). He suddenly becomes 100% magnetic and … ho ho ho.. zaps all the tapes. How does the other dude save the business? Well, they re-make all the videos themselves of course (oh, by the way, it’s completely impossible for them to get more copies of the tapes because they’re out of cash and no-one will help them out because VHS is pretty much dead in the water). Up to this point I haven’t laughed once at this “comedy”, but I figure it’ll get better when they start recreating old movies with hilarious results..

It didn’t.

This film is arse. I turned it off after about an hour. Utter rubbish. I don’t know what they were thinking but the whole thing is disjointed, awkward and unfunny.

So I ended up watching the news. Guess what? We’re all screwed, there’s a recession coming and people are moaning that their pay rises aren’t good enough. Yes, we know – that’s because if you get more pay you’ll continue spending. If you do that then inflation will keep shooting up and then we’ll all be totally stuffed.



Right, the TV is going off. Time for a beer.