How not to tip

This weekend we were at the pub again and, at the bar, I couldn’t pay for drinks as their card machine wasn’t working.

Don’t worry

.. said the barmaid..

We’ll just turn the router off and on, it’ll be fine in a bit.

She put the drinks on a tab and we had our food. However, at the end of the meal we had two tabs to pay – one for food, one for beer. As the barmaid added then both together she told me that the totally was £63.08. Well, we’d all had a great meal and the service was brilliant so I asked her to round it up to £70.

My wife looked disgusted as I punched in the PIN, but I couldn’t quite figure out why. It was only when we got to the carpark and I rather drunkenly threw the car keys to her that I found out why

That tip was a bit large wasn’t it? I thought we were saving money?

.. said my wife. Sure, it was nearly £7 but I couldn’t figure out why this was such a problem, so I got on my high horse.

Yeah, but the service was very good and… 

..I got interrupted.

A £17 tip though?

Now I was confused..

What? It was £7 wasn’t it?

It slowly dawned on me that a noisy pub, and booze-filled maths don’t work well together.

She said £53.08, not £63.08!!

Ahh…. Ah balls. By this time we were in the car, but I wasn’t going to head back and ask for cash-back in a hurry.