Cillet BANG!

What the stuff is going on with the world ? One night last week, when I wasn’t really paying attention to the TV, a brightly coloured advert popped up. All I remembered about it at the time was that there were hundreds of bottles of some bright purple cleaning fluid and a guy repeatedly saying, “Cillet BANG! Cillet BANG! Cillet BANG! Cillet BANG!”

What was going on?

A couple of days later, during one of the many irritating commercial breaks featuring ringtones on MTV / Dance / The Box / TMF / Whatever, I asked the missus if she’d seen this Cillet BANG! commercial. She, however, thought I was going mad and laughed at me. “Bang?” “Bang what?” .. Sure, it seemed crazy.. Perhaps it was part of some comedy sketch show or maybe a female sexual practice I hadn’t heard of?

But no, a couple of days later it appears. Hey, you can even watch the advert here (and download it by right-clicking to stick on your Smartphone if you’re mad enough). The general jist … hold on.. is “jist” spelt “jist” or is it spelt “gist” … ? Well anyway, the general.. err.. thing is that some guy appears, mentioning the words “Cillet BANG! Cillet BANG!” a few times whilst grabbing a bottle of this stuff. He then pours out about 20 bottles of violently purple coloured goo into a glass container. This advert has more cheese than a cheddar factory which has just been hit by a large truck full of Camembert.

The purple stuff is leathal, and would appear to clean pretty much anything. Gloves appear to be worn with this stuff, so I’d worry about your hands disolving. What’s stranger though, is when the commercial starts to show the sheer cleaning power of this product on old pennies..

“Look how Cillet BANG! gets this old penny as good as new!!!!”

..well, yes.. yes it does. But who in their right mind will want to sit around cleaning bloody pennies all day??! Especially when it isn’t really going to increase the value of said pennies..

Oh…. oh no… wait….I’m getting a newsflash.. yes, it would appear that some lazy arse student with too much time on their hands has done just that (apologies to all students everywhere for that sweeping generalization. I am basing my assumtion on my own experience as a student, which involved sleeping a lot, drinking a lot, and watching Trisha / This Morning / Random Day-Time TV a lot)… Yes, it appears that Adam Welch has tested Cillet BANG! here with his frighteningly large collection of old copper coinage. The results are quite remarkable, although he did end up spending