Smoking Banned in Pubs, Clubs and Restaurants in the UK

You may remember well-reasoned arguments (ahem!) about the dangers of smoking and the apparent smoking ban we had before. The old ban basically said, “You can smoke here, but not over there on a Wednesday afternoon when the sun is shining”. It was impossible to enforce.

So today, after months of “wrangling” (for that you should read “arguing”) the MP’s in our UK Government have decided by quite a large majority to ban smoking… everywhere. Well, almost anywhere… anywhere where smokers would want to smoke at least. It’s being banned in all pubs, clubs and restaurants within by summer 2007. When this new law is combined with the existing one it’ll mean that smoking will be banned in almost all enclosed public places and workplaces in England.

Any licensees who don’t enforce the new law can be fined up to 2,500, plus anyone caught smoking will face a 50 on-the-spot penalty. Now, I’m a none-smoker, I’ll admit it. I’m not a major fan of smoking but.. don’t you think it’s going to be a bit weird ?

When I used to go to nightclubs and now, when I go to the pub there’s always smokers – it’s part of the scene and what you come to expect. Cigarette machines are everywhere, ash-trays are in every pub and club.. but what’s it going to be like when you’re talking to someone in a few years time, someone who’s say.. 17 and going out clubbing ?

“Hey, I remember when we used to go clubbing. Everyone would be standing around the DJ box having a fag.”

“Eh? Did they used to allow that? That’s insane!!”

That’s gonna make me feel very old. I guess in a few years time it’ll be as frowned-upon as smoking in a plane. This is a pretty major change when you think about it, especially for a country where a heck of a lot of people smoke.

So, if it’s banned that surely means that people will stop yes ? Well, no. It’s highly addictive, and it’s not just a matter of saying, “I’m gonna stop today, I’ll eat apples instead, that’s much cheaper.”

So how do you stop ? Well, I’ve had an idea. It doesn’t involve chewing gum or patches. There’s no funny hypnosis or stop-smoking tapes, this is a sure-fire winner. If anyone takes this idea up I definitely want a cut of the profits. OK ?

So my idea, my idea to stop smoking quickly involves one petrol can, some super-glue and some petrol. Simply super-glue the petrol can to the chest of the smoker, then fill up with petrol.

Job done. :)

Warning – Don’t do this, else I’ll get sued. Oh, and you’ll do yourself an unbelievable amount of harm. So don’t do it.