Yesterday morning I walked out to my car to find ice all over the windscreen. I did my usual trick of grabbing a CD case out of the glove box and scrapping the ice off with that. On Saturday, I was rudely awaken by the cheery sound of an ice cream van. Yes, and ice cream van. According to the temperature wotsit in my motor it was 8 degrees C. Not, I think you’ll agree, in any way warm.
So I stumble to the front of the house to find “Mr Pixie Ices” sitting outside. Even more of a shock though is the fact that he has customers. Sheeeshhh….
You may hear people say, “Only in America”… however this is Britain, it’s cold, people are wearing coats, it’s Winter and only yesterday it was snowing. Perhaps it’s “Only in Britain” that this happens – I don’t know, I certainly haven’t seen someone in Iceland driving round selling ice creams recently. In theory it shouldn’t work – everyone is sitting in their homes in front of the fire with the central heating on – however the cheery melody of an ice cream van is enough to give people the urge to stick a “99 With a Flake” down your chops.
I’ve had a better idea though. I figure, if people will freely buy ice cream when it’s freezing cold and there’s several months before we get even a sniff of summer weather, why not sell beer in a similar way?
Surely that’s got to work. All you’d need is a Ford Transit Van with a window in the side, then instead of playing nursery rhymes to signal your arrival you could have a loud-speaker shouting, “GET YAAARR BOOOZZZE!!!!”
I know I’d buy my beer that way. Why bother going up to the shops to get beer? Sell it in a brightly-painted van with “Mr Booze” written on the side!