Christmas Car Wash Blues

It seems that pretty much everybody in the UK is trying to get their car washed today. It’s just two days to Christmas and everyone wants their car to be clean for Christmas Day when their parents or friends see them …. and their car..

I’m actually typing this blog whilst sat in the queue for the car wash. I know it’s busy, but some of these people aren’t helping the situation because the vast majority ALREADY HAVE clean cars. The nonce in front of me has a black car. To be honest I can’t see any dirt on it whatsoever. The guy in front of him also has a clean car – even his alloys are still shining!!! AGGHHH!

So why are they here? With the amount of grit, grime and grease on the road they’re all going to get dirty by the time they drive their precious machines home again anyhow.

Me? Well my motor looks absolutely awful. Thanks to many miles pounding up and down the M6 it’s now got several “speed streaks” up the bonnet in various shades of black. My headlights are barely visable and the side of the car looks as if I’ve been rallying through a muddy field at 90mph. The rear end of my car is possibly the worst though – I doubt that anyone can read the number plate and the rear lights are virtually non existant.

I HAVE A PROPERLY DIRTY CAR!! Move you sorry stupid clean cars out of this queue!!