Fat people!

We’ve been here in Cancun for 5 days now. There’s a lot of American people here, all of whom look extremely puzzled if we talk to them in restaurants or at the bar. A few venture on to ask that question..

“Say, where are you from?”

.. I hate someone asking us this. I could be anywhere else in the world – France, Australia, Germany or Africa, but somehow when you’re in the US or – in this case – in an area where lots of Americans go on holiday, very few people seem to know where you’re from based on the accent you have.

“We’re from England”, I say, hoping that this time they’ll reply, ‘I knew that, but which area?’.. Instead though, we got..

“Oh wow, that’s like, so cool. I thought you from like.. Australia or something.”

Humphh.. I’m sorry if I’m brandishing people into stereotypes here, but why is it that they don’t know what an English accent is? Why is it “cool” (or, sometimes, “cute”, which is even worse) And what’s with the word “like” – why is it used in every sentence along with the phrase “Oh my God!”? I swear some girls on the coach yesterday had an entire conversation which virtually consisted entirely with those words..

“..And he was, like, oh my God, And I was, like, yeah, and he was, like, ‘No way am I going there’, and I was , like, oh my God, yes you are…”

Perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Sure, I nearly wanted to slap a large American lady last night who shouted, “OLLLARRR? OOOLLARR? SENYORITAY?? ANOTHER VODKA ON THE ROCKS PLEASE?”, but then I figured that us Brits have probably done a similar thing in Ibiza or the Costa Del Sol. I’ve probably also heard British teenagers speaking in a similar fashion to those girls on the coach.

However, there’s one thing you can’t escape from – especially in an all-inclusive resort such as this….

Fat people.

We’re not just talking “plump” or “slightly overweight” here, oh no, this is a whole new level of utter morbid obesity. Hugely fat lolloping whales with legs on. They take the idea of an all-inclusive resort to a whole new level. They attack the buffet with two plates and then stand by the grill as two huge steaks are prepared for them. Granted, the steaks are delicious (I had one last night), but standing and sweating whilst two are prepared for your already heaving plates isn’t something I want to see.

“I’m big and I’m proud”, is what they say to their friends when the wobble back to their table.

No mate, you’re immensely over weight and you’ll be dead in 5 years is what you are.