Speaking CCTV cameras

What the heck is this all about eh? Sure, the news report seems to show the anti-social behaviour being dispersed, however I’m a little concerned that the planned UK roll-out of these talking CCTV cameras may not be quite as successful as the Government hope.

In short, the Home Secretary is spending half a million quid putting big-ass speakers on those cameras you see up on poles in local towns and cities. The reason? Well, we’ve got less police knocking around and more of these “town wardens” (there’s apparently two in our local town but I’ve never seen them) so cameras are relied on more and more. The “shame” factor of being publicly humiliated by a booming voice might work, but I’m thinking it’ll be a bit strange for other shoppers and members of the public.

Imagine the scene, you’re out shopping in your local town when a bunch of hoodies start making a nuisance of themselves. Unfortunately for them they’ve chosen to do this within the eye of the camera (and, despite their limited intelligence, most will probably choose to keep away from the camera). Suddenly a nerdy voice comes over the tanoy..

“Excuse me. Could you stop swearing at passing shoppers please. Stop it, stop it now. Stop throwing rubbish on the floor please. If you refuse to comply I’ll be forced to… errrr……”

What are the camera operators going to do exactly? Call the police? By the time the coppers get there the kids would’ve run off, and – despite the obvious humiliation and looks of disapproval from members of the public – the hoodies will probably just make a gesture to the camera and run off. How many will really just submit to the camera voice ?

It’s OK though, because I’ve sorted it….


Never mind bloody speakers, get some lasers stuck on the cameras. That’ll sort the problem!

Next time some oik has the audacity to swear, litter or graffiti just zap them with the laser! :) Of course, you could have it on “stun” mode for a minor offence and then “full on pain” for muggers etc. Job done.

Well, it works in my head, and that’s all that matters :)

Links – BBC News StoryVideo